I figured I'd post this live as it's happening since it's ALMOST to rediculous to believe. I don't recall the brief details of my first six attempts to upgrade my calling plan on my Sprint PCS phone; needless to say, though, I was simply unable to successfully navigate through the voice mail system. Alas, I have found the proper key sequence:
Lift receiver
Dial: 1-800-SPRINT1, 1, 2, 1, 3
You'll get a rep who'll ask you your first and last name and wether you're a Sprint of Nextel customer. They'll then attempt to transfer you to "Customer Solutions".
Transfer Attempt 1
I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself for having gotten someone on the phone, and decide that the 20-minute wait warning is worth sitting through. I press SPKR, then MUTE, and ejoy the muzak while hacking away at a PPT addin using VB6 (which, does not help my mood).
ONE HOUR AND FIFTY TWO MINUTES AND SEVEN SECONDS LATER (1:52:07), I have to pee so bad I'm actually in physical pain and sweating. I decide to terminate the call before getting any assistance and relieve my more immediate troubles.
Transfer Attempt 2
1800SPRINT1,1,2,1,3-Tim Fanelli Sprint not Nextel, Customer Solutions please, I want to upgrade my plan.
Disconnected on transfer.
Transfer Attempt 3
1800SPRINT1,1,2,1,3-Tim Fanelli Sprint not Nextel and PLEASE DO NOT TRANSFER ME YET.
I explained, relatively calmly, that I've called several times now, and was just disconnected and would like to speak to someone who can help me instead of waiting in queue. The rep, apologizing profusely, yet unable to assist, puts me in queue... after a brief holding period, a recording informs me that the phone number I entered (which, I did not enter), is invalid and to please call back. Disconnected.
Transfer Attempt 4
1800SPRINT1,1,2,1,3-Tim Fanelli Sprint not Nextel, I want to GIVE YOU MORE MONEY BUT YOU KEEP HANGING UP ON ME.
Now this dude was pretty funny. He informed me that he I've been getting transfered to the wrong place, because, for whatever reason, I have a "Strategic Business/State/Local Account" - I don't know what that means or how I got it. But according to the dude, shorter wait times in the department and better discounts. w00t.
Dude says he'll get someone on the phone and then xfer me. So he three-ways the call into their department, which results in a busy signal, and then he hangs up on me while trying to hang up on them.
Transfer Attempt 5
Got some chick who didn't want to hear my sob story and hung up on me.
Transfer Attempt 6
Got some chick who listened to my sob story, but didn't give much of a flying hooey about it. She transfered me to NEXTEL customer service, despite the fact that I repeatedly stated that I was Sprint, not nextel.
The chick at Nextel transfered me to the appropriate customer center at Sprint; where I waited on hold for ANOTHER 41 MINUTES.
Finally, at last, I was able to change my calling plan. They gave me a whopping $10.00 credit for my time. My over-two-hours of time, which I calculated to be worth approximately $A_LOT_MORE based on the rate I'm billed out at work for.
Conclusion
Sprint PCS and their Nextel Alliance can GO TO HELL.